The Big "D"

The other day I got to thinking about the big "D."  No, not the big "D" as in diarrhea, the big "D" as in death.  The inevitable thing none of us wants to think about that will eventually happen to us all.  After asking my dad about it, he said it excited him.  Of course my father does not want to die, but he has a strong faith in God, so he knows that when the time comes, although he will be sad to leave loved ones behind, he will rejoice in being in Heaven.  Although I too have a strong faith in God, I have always struggled with the concept of death.  Perhaps I need to spend more time with God.  With that being said, I find myself closest to God, and closest to my inner being when I am writing.  With a fresh journal page, and a crisp pencil, I feel at ease with my thoughts as I let them run freely.  There is no rhyme or reason to my writing, and I am not sure if it ever really makes sense.  In fact, on the contrary, if anyone ever got a hold of my journal entries, they may assume I was a crazy person.  Well if so, my journal is the best therapist.

So why blogging?  Well, I am not quite sure what to expect with this.  My journals are the best way for me to express myself in my own world.  With a blog, my thoughts are left for the whole world to see...or anyone who knows how to view these things.  I am also not sure about the whole typing thing, because I adore a sharp pencil.  Ehh that sounded gross.  Okay, back to what I was saying.  SO why am I blogging you ask?  I am going to try this out for this reason:  my journals have made an impact on my life in ways you could not imagine.  I am not a poet, nor am I some empowering motivational guru.  I just write what I am thinking, and let it flow.  I guess I am going to start this whole blogging thing, because I want to share my thoughts with you.  Yes, I will die some day, but my thoughts and my words will not.  I want to leave more than just my decorative pillows behind (I tried to think of a worldly possession I am obsessed with, and that came to mind.  My Husband (Adam) says I have too many decorative pillows, and he doesn't understand why I do not want his sweaty head on them.  "They are pillows...they are supposed to be used for my head," he says.  He just doesn't get it).  Anyway, sorry for the rabbit trail, you will see a lot of those.  That is how I think.  Maybe that is why I am a terrible driver, an awful test taker, an even worse speller, and a fabulous Special Ed Teacher.  Anyway...as I was saying,  I want to leave more than my decorative pillows behind. I want to leave memories.   I want to leave words.   I want to leave stories.  I want to leave thoughts, answers...and then the correct answers if they ever reveal themselves.  

So this is a "blog," huh?  I know I am behind the times, but this is all new to me.  I see people posting blogs about everything from travel and design, to cooking and baby-making.  I always thought it would be fun to have a blog, but never had any one thing that I was super passionate about. For those of you who know me, I do love kids with special needs, but I do not think my students' parents would be happy with pictures of them all over my blog.  So what the heck should I blog about?  Today it hit me...who cares.  I will not blog about anything.  I will just write.

With that being said, if you are a person who feels compelled to critique grammar, syntax, and spelling, this is not the blog for you.  Yes, I am a teacher, and I know and use all of the rules of the "book" in my professional life...whatever the "book" is anyway.  However, this is not the "book,"  and this type of writing is a compilation of my thoughts (which do not always flow together in a nice little river with happy colorful fish).  E.E Cummings once said " To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."  For those of you who are familiar with the work of E.E. Cummings, you know that he was anything but by the "book."  E.E. Cummings wrote many poems with unconventional punctuation and capitalization, and unusual line, word, and even letter placement.  No, I am not comparing myself to E.E. Cummings, but what I am doing is preparing you for A.D. Plenge.  The world according to me has no real structure, yet it is packaged up nicely with plastic paper covers (which I adore) and color-coded post-its corresponding to a matching colored highlighter.  My crazy and confused mind needs to pretend like it is organized, or it will in fact shows it's true colors (which are not coded).  With that being said, this is me.  Take it or leave it...but if you choose to take it, get ready for a ride!